Magic of Making Up

Keys to Bring Back Love in a Relationship

The initial fire has died down, things have settled into a comfortable routine of television and slightly boring nights in. You know that he still loves you; you know that you still love him, but ugh, the rut is getting to you! Lately, you have noticed how sexy that new bag boy down at the local grocery store is looking, and surely your man might have noticed exactly how many times you run down there? You are content to sit on the couch in ratty sweats with your hair yanked back in a pony tail with the man you love, but a trip to get milk entails an entire outfit change, twenty minutes of hair prep, and full makeup. Looks like trouble is a’brewing, right?

So, what are the keys to bringing back the love in this relationship? First, ditch those sweats, baby, and shake out that scrunchie. No one is suggesting that looks equal love, but the old ratty clothes might suggest that other things are getting overlooked as well. Like manners. Or kindness. Why is it that we will be on our best behavior with strangers that we will more than likely never see again, while the people that spend our every day with, the people that we claim to love get treated worse than our pets? The old saying is true: “familiarity breeds contempt.” Dress like you did when you were first dating, actually put in the effort to look nice. Use your “people” manners, and hope that it catches on. Pat him gently as you pass, stroke his arm, sneak up behind him and kiss his neck. You remember touching, right?

Don’t fall into the trap of a setting “date night.” It sounds like a rule, and that is the last thing that is needed, here. Any more structure might just choke the last bit of life out of the relationship once and for all. Instead, try making every day like a date. You are with this person because you love them, so act like it. Surprise them with small gifts, even things you have made for them. Prepare their favorite meals and serve them with a smile. Actual smile when they walk into a room, and let them know that you missed them while they were gone. Do one of their least favorite chores for them every now and then, or hire someone to do it for them, using the freed up time to cuddle. Get away from the TV and take up a hobby together. Make it a point to go to bed together and skip the old lady flannel gown. Run his bath water, and then come in to wash his back. Or come in and join him. Reach out to him, and make the effort; I would bet that he will be relieved not to have to come up with these ideas on his own!

Making the effort to treat your relationship like it is something worth working on is better than trying to run off to Spain with the bag boy, and believe me, the extra time spent on slapping a little lipstick on for your mate is better than spending thousands of dollars on a divorce!

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